Ask for Help and You Shall Receive It

Starting a graduate program is confusing, and you will confront many things you do not know. Do not be afraid to ask for help and remember, you belong here!

So here you are at the beginning of your graduate career, overwhelmed by unfamiliar faces, geography, vocabulary, and tasks. You wonder if you accidentally missed an essential meeting in which all institutional wisdom was revealed, because everyone else in your incoming class seems to already know about this stuff. The Antediluvian Librarians feel safe in saying you should not let the assurance of your classmates worry you; we’re pretty certain they’re bluffing.

The Antediluvian Librarians also feel secure in asserting that nobody likes to say “I don’t know.” It makes us feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, and many of us believe that it makes a bad impression. Yet until we admit that we don’t know something, we are unlikely to get to a place where we can learn about it. Don’t fixate on the fact that you don’t know something. Instead, use your time and energy to find out about it. This practice will yield two positive results. First, you will know one more thing and, second, you will get that boost in confidence that comes from doing something courageous. Think about it. You didn’t know, but you admitted it and got help in finding out—one of the bravest things anyone can do. Then if you get into the habit of asking questions like “how can I learn more about this?” whenever something unfamiliar comes along, you will have created an important habit, as well as rapidly growing in both knowledge and confidence. Who’s bluffing now?

The process is as simple as getting yourself a notebook and keeping it handy. Whenever something perplexes you, write it down and pledge to solve the mystery. You have far more resources at your disposal than you imagine. It could be campus geography—which way is north? It could be coping with day-to-day life—what color is my assigned parking lot? It could even be Theology—what do you mean there are two St. Augustines? There is a library full of books and a school full of people, all of whom vividly recall their first few weeks in a new program. Remember that all of us have started where you are right now, and we are eager to help.

Rest assured that demystification is available all around you. If you ask for help, you shall receive it. Usually over lunch!